Off Track

Y'all, I got wayyyyyyy off track the last few weeks. As I've mentioned before, I thrive on routine, and my life the last month has been anything but routine.

The last week of January, we had four snow days in a row. Then I came down with some serious sickness, went to work for two days (one of which was a teacher workshop day), and then headed out of town for three days. Less than a week later, two of my best friends came to the Twin Cities, and then the next day, the three of us and my other BFF went to Daytona for four days. This past week, we had yet another snow day.

It's been crazy, to say the least.

And my nutrition has suffered -- hard core.

But I will get back to the grind. Tomorrow, I start anew with a weigh-in, daily/weekly points, and 100% tracking. I'm also going to restart my goal-tracking, as I completely fell off the wagon in that regard, too.

In order to stick better to my nutritional plan, I'm going to focus on my why: the reason that eating healthfully is so important to me, the rationale through which I will achieve my goals.

First and foremost, I want to feel good. I have to admit, though, that I've been feeling pretty amazing the last few months, even though I'm not looking quite the way I want to look. Much of that likely has to do with a solid workout regime, some mindful self care (through relaxing baths, reading, writing, time with friends and family, etc.), and better nutrition.

Second, I want to look good. I realize how superficial that may sound, but it's true. For me, it's not necessarily "looking good" so that I can wear a certain thing (I already wear what I want -- but it'd be nice to fit into the cute clothes that are already in my closet) or so that people find me attractive (my boo tells me everyday how beautiful I am). Rather, I want to look the way I feel, especially strength-wise. I want my hard work in the gym to show in my physical appearance.

This image popped up on my TimeHop from three years ago:

I was definitely not in as great a place mentally as I am right now, but I was eating well and working out a ton (probably a little too much, hence the ankle injury that has sidelined me too dang much).

I loved the way I looked, though, and I truthfully feel like I've never looked better. I wasn't thin by any means, but I was strong, and my muscles were poppin'.

This is a photo that my trainer posted several days ago:

Granted, this is not going to be a flattering pose/angle for anyone, and while I felt super strong while she was taking the picture (I mean, I was pressing seven hundred and twenty pounds), I was so disappointed when I saw the photo.

I want to look like the girl from three years ago.

Also, I have a wedding coming up. I'd like to look as smokin' as possible in that wedding dress (even though I know that Jesus is going to cry when he sees me in it regardless -- he's going to think I look beautiful no matter what the number on the scale says), and I don't want to worry about not liking how I look in the photographs.

So, that's my why*: I want to feel good, and I want to look good. I want my inner strength (and my physical strength) to show outwardly.

With my current workout routine -- and with walking and light running added in as soon as spring decides to arrive -- and better nutrition, I know that I can get there.

*Also, I'm paying money for Weight Watchers. I need to stick to it, otherwise I'm basically throwing money away. Come on, Emily.