Proud

I haven't updated y'all with a weight-loss / weight-gain post since February 4th, which was a whopping three weeks ago. So, here's the result of that time period:

Honestly, it's what I expected, as I mentioned in my last post: with traveling, having 8,000 snow/cold days, coming down with The Plague, and just getting off track in general, the scale was bound to move in the less-desired direction.

So, you may be wondering why in the world I titled my post Proud. Well, friends, let me tell you:

1. I have had two super-hard workouts already this week. Both yesterday and today, Pilates was tough, and I pushed myself.

At my main location (Woodbury), we're working on an advanced-to-me move, Snake:

This video is 100% not me.

I am very strong, and I am pretty decent at most Pilates moves. I am not, however, good at anything that involves holding myself up with my arms/wrists/hands, especially when it involves a moving surface.

I'm not entirely sure why. Part of it, I think, is that my elbows hyper-extend quite a bit, and I'm worried about them doing so when I'm trying to hold myself up; also, this hyperextension can make my wrists pretty sore when I put weight on them. Part of it is that I am not confident in the strength of my arms versus the power of my legs.

Whatever the reason, these types of movements terrify me.

But yesterday, I attempted a very-adapted version of the exercise pictured above, and I was able to get up -- albeit for a short time -- on my wrists. And that made me proud.

2. I stuck to my nutritional plan both yesterday and today. Yesterday, it was fairly easy, but today, I chaperoned a field trip, and our wonderful cafeteria workers packed me a sack lunch. While I ate the apple sauce, I opted out of the turkey sandwich, chips, and animal crackers and instead ate the lunch I packed. (I did, however, eat the animal crackers -- and tracked them -- on my way-too-long commute home.)

And speaking of that long commute home, I really didn't want to cook and instead wanted Jesus and I just to head to a restaurant instead. But, we made a good choice: we got home, cooked some fast (and delicious) chicken, and noshed on a salad instead.

3. The aforementioned field trip was so much fun. We took our Student Leadership Team to Base Camp for team-building and leadership-strengthening activities.

We started the morning with a goofy ice breaker; most of the students participated, but some were definitely "too cool."

That quickly changed, though, when we did the first "challenge." The whole group had to "island hop" across a "lake full of lava," and they only had two thin boards to use for assistance. It started off as a very individualistic activity, but students quickly realized they had to work together -- and did a really great job of it.

We did another activity where they were all thisclose to each other, which on any other day would likely have not worked; my students really like their space, often wanting to sit all alone rather than with even one more person at the table. But they all participated, and they all did great.

After a quick lunch, we were going to do a high ropes course but instead opted to rock climb. I was originally a bit salty about this, as rock climbing is hard, and I have never been super successful at it. I really wanted to participate -- and be a kid with, well, the kids, but I was uncertain that I could, simply because I am not good at rock climbing.

Well, guess what?

That's me! And I'm, like, a little more than halfway up the wall!

It was really, really hard, and I was really, really not confident, but I did it!

I asked a student to take photos while I was climbing, and I'm not going to lie: while I wanted photo documentation of my attempt, I was dreading what the pictures would look like. I mean, it's hard to look amazing (suck it in, pop it out, get the good angles, find the light, etc.) while in weird climbing formation.

But you know what? I'm not super disappointed in these photos! In fact, I think I look pretty darn strong! And, I'm really, really proud of myself.


So even though the scale has gone up over the last three weeks, I am overall very pleased with how I'm doing: I feel strong, I feel (more) confident, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone and taking risks, and I am looking better -- even in those unplanned, unposed photos. :)

Oh, and even with this recent gain, I'm still down 9.8 pounds overall.

And as I continue to stick to my nutritional plan, I know I'll keep going down.

Adios!

Off Track

Y'all, I got wayyyyyyy off track the last few weeks. As I've mentioned before, I thrive on routine, and my life the last month has been anything but routine.

The last week of January, we had four snow days in a row. Then I came down with some serious sickness, went to work for two days (one of which was a teacher workshop day), and then headed out of town for three days. Less than a week later, two of my best friends came to the Twin Cities, and then the next day, the three of us and my other BFF went to Daytona for four days. This past week, we had yet another snow day.

It's been crazy, to say the least.

And my nutrition has suffered -- hard core.

But I will get back to the grind. Tomorrow, I start anew with a weigh-in, daily/weekly points, and 100% tracking. I'm also going to restart my goal-tracking, as I completely fell off the wagon in that regard, too.

In order to stick better to my nutritional plan, I'm going to focus on my why: the reason that eating healthfully is so important to me, the rationale through which I will achieve my goals.

First and foremost, I want to feel good. I have to admit, though, that I've been feeling pretty amazing the last few months, even though I'm not looking quite the way I want to look. Much of that likely has to do with a solid workout regime, some mindful self care (through relaxing baths, reading, writing, time with friends and family, etc.), and better nutrition.

Second, I want to look good. I realize how superficial that may sound, but it's true. For me, it's not necessarily "looking good" so that I can wear a certain thing (I already wear what I want -- but it'd be nice to fit into the cute clothes that are already in my closet) or so that people find me attractive (my boo tells me everyday how beautiful I am). Rather, I want to look the way I feel, especially strength-wise. I want my hard work in the gym to show in my physical appearance.

This image popped up on my TimeHop from three years ago:

I was definitely not in as great a place mentally as I am right now, but I was eating well and working out a ton (probably a little too much, hence the ankle injury that has sidelined me too dang much).

I loved the way I looked, though, and I truthfully feel like I've never looked better. I wasn't thin by any means, but I was strong, and my muscles were poppin'.

This is a photo that my trainer posted several days ago:

Granted, this is not going to be a flattering pose/angle for anyone, and while I felt super strong while she was taking the picture (I mean, I was pressing seven hundred and twenty pounds), I was so disappointed when I saw the photo.

I want to look like the girl from three years ago.

Also, I have a wedding coming up. I'd like to look as smokin' as possible in that wedding dress (even though I know that Jesus is going to cry when he sees me in it regardless -- he's going to think I look beautiful no matter what the number on the scale says), and I don't want to worry about not liking how I look in the photographs.

So, that's my why*: I want to feel good, and I want to look good. I want my inner strength (and my physical strength) to show outwardly.

With my current workout routine -- and with walking and light running added in as soon as spring decides to arrive -- and better nutrition, I know that I can get there.

*Also, I'm paying money for Weight Watchers. I need to stick to it, otherwise I'm basically throwing money away. Come on, Emily.

The Plague

This is going to be an ultra-short post, as I came down with some sort of sickness -- likely The Plague -- on Friday night, and it's been kicking my butt ever since. I was couch-bound all weekend, but I did get up to go to work today, only because a.) it was a professional development day and therefore relatively easy and b.) I will be missing Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday for a conference in Duluth. Oh, and c.) I never call in sick because I'm stupid.

But, I wanted to update the ol' blog with my weekly weight change. This time, it went in the right direction:

Because this was the first non-January weigh-in, I also thought I'd update my yearly weight-loss calendar:

Despite the two weeks that I've gained weight over the course of this journey (both of which were in January), I have lost a total of 13 pounds in eleven weeks.

I also think I should have taken measurements at the beginning, as I don't think this accurately represents what I've lost. After all, I've been gaining a ton of muscle (that has allowed me to leg-press 720 pounds, for instance), so I've been "tightening up" and "slimming down."

My Pilates instructor noticed last week, which made me feel super good.

February should be an interesting month regarding this whole weight-loss adventure, as I have a couple of trips planned. First, as I mentioned above, I will be heading to Duluth on Wednesday morning and will be returning Friday evening; I will be there for a conference, and I will therefore have limited options regarding food, especially for breakfast and lunch. I plan to make good choices, but I also don't know how much control I'll ultimately have.

Second, I'm headed to Daytona Beach next weekend for a sort of bachelorette party -- that is really just an excuse to have a weekend by the ocean with my girlfriends. I am SO excited. And, I can guarantee you that I'll be eating a lot of oysters, fish sandwiches, French fries with malt vinegar, and hush puppies, and I'll be drinking my share of piña coladas and red wine. And, I'm not going to trip over that at all.

One of my all-time favorite bars -- the Ocean Deck -- where much of the aforementioned eating/drinking will happen.

Oh, and we will be in town for the Daytona 500, so people-watching will be amazing.

But for now, I'm going to go lie down on the couch or in my bed. My head is throbbing, and I have been vertical for far too long.

"See" y'all soon!

Winter Break, Take Two

Along with much of the Midwest, I've been snowed/cold-ed in for the last several days. This is the longest stretch of unexpected days off of school I have had in my entire life. I have not been to work since last Friday.

It has been so nice.

(Before I get any further, though, I have to say that while it has been nice for me, I know it has likely been challenging for many of my students, particularly those who do not have reliable housing, those who rely on school for food, etc. We were also supposed to have the food pantry come to school on Monday -- a service on which many of our students depend -- but we had a snow day. So, I am constantly trying to reconcile my feelings of joy and relaxation with empathy for others' situations.)

School was called fairly early on Sunday -- for Monday. And then on Monday afternoon, both Tuesday and Wednesday were called due to temperature (-50 degree windchill), and Thursday was called last Wednesday afternoon. It's been absolutely bonkers.

Raygun is the best.

On Monday, I slept in and went to a later Pilates class. It was pretty darn cold, and the roads were a bit slippery, but it wasn't horrible. Then I came home and shoveled so got a "bonus" workout.

On Tuesday, I slept in again and went to another Pilates class. When I first went outside, I was like, "Okay, this is chilly, but it's not the worst." Then I went tanning (hey, I'm going to Florida in a couple of weeks), and it was across the street from Bibelot, an amazing store that is closing and therefore offering huge discounts, so I wanted to check it out. I was outside for maybe three minutes, and that was enough for me: it was the coldest air I had ever felt. It was honestly hard to breathe! After that, I went to Firestone for an oil change, where they promptly told me I needed a new battery or my car would not start on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, I slept in and had plans to do absolutely nothing. The wind chill was -50, and there was no reason for me to venture outside for even a second. Jesus, though, was going to run an errand with my car; however, it wouldn't start -- despite my brand-new battery.

Today, I picked up my car from Firestone (apparently it was flooded?) and went to my training session (and leg-pressed seven hundred and twenty pounds). I have to say that it was kind of nice to get out of the house, even for just a teeny tiny bit.

Also, today's -4 degrees felt -- dare I say it? -- WARM. I'm clearly a Minnesotan now.

What, might you ask, have I done in the last six days?

1. I watched a lot of TV: The Ted Bundy Tapes, Catwalk, The Assassination of Gianni Versace, and lots of random shows like Grey's Anatomy, This Is Us, Schitt's Creek, Big Mouth, Criminal Minds, Seth Meyers, etc.

2. I read Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and absolutely loved it; I hope there will be a sequel. I started The Lost Girls and am excited to read more of it today.

3. I did an entire 1,000-piece puzzle in approximately 12 hours.

She's such a good helper.

4. Jesus and I played a lot of Backgammon. And when he went to the basement to paint, I also played myself in Backgammon.

5. I did some online shopping because, well, Florida.

6. Jesus and I had a mini spa day with facials, and then I painted my nails and took a bath with a bomb and bubbles; it was glorious.

7. I snuggled a lot of kitties. I think they're going to have a rude awakening when we have to go back to work tomorrow. (Although, they'll be back to their new reality when we're home again on Saturday and Sunday.)

Not pictured: the girl kitty who only wants attention when we're trying to do something, like putting together a puzzle, playing Backgammon, or cooking.

What I haven't done is clean the house (aside from vacuuming the stairs), do anything for school, put on makeup, plan any wedding things, be productive, drink enough water, or stick 100% to my nutritional plan.

But you know what? I've kind of needed this lack of productivity. Our actual winter break felt super busy and go-go-go, so having these unexpected days off only a month later has been really nice and has been a time for me to actually breathe.

So, I'm going to soak up these last few hours of "bonus" winter break by reading, relaxing, and rejuvenating.

"See" y'all soon!

Expectations: Met

Last week started off super strong on the nutrition front, and then it kind of tanked.

This may fall under the realm of TMI, but if you're a long-time reader of my writing, you know that we're past that point. I mean, remember these posts?

If you didn't click on that link yet, go ahead and do so now: you will see that nearly five years ago, I opted for an IUD. As a result, I haven't had a "real" period since, and it's been glorious. However, likely because my body is realizing that this device's time is nearing its end, the ol' monthly visitor has been slowly but surely making a reappearance -- and has been bringing all her baggage right along with her.

Cut to this weekend: all I wanted was pizza and French silk pie.

Pizza, I can understand: it's seriously one of my all-time favorite foods, and prior to Weight Watchers, I bet we ate it once a week (or at least once every two weeks). I haven't had pizza since prior to Thanksgiving, and I was craving it something fierce.

French silk pie, though? I don't know where the heck that came from. Sure, I like pie, and yeah, I like chocolate, and I suppose French silk used to be my favorite (like, years ago). But I haven't had a craving for pie ever, nor have I even eaten French silk pie in probably ten years.

Nom Nom Nom

Cravings are weird, y'all, and they're something I haven't missed in the last five years.

The intense desire for pie started on Thursday or Friday, and I kind of brushed it away: I did not need pie. By the time Saturday rolled around, though, and the craving hadn't dissipated, I acquiesced -- and picked up a frozen pie on my weekly grocery run.

So for dinner on Saturday? We had pizza, French silk pie, and -- wait for it -- salad. I mean, we couldn't be totally unhealthy, right?

I also had two pieces of pie yesterday: one for breakfast and one for after-dinner dessert. And yep, I finished off one slice this morning. (And now the whole thing is gone, THANK GOD.)

So needless to say, I gained weight this week.

Even though this was a direct quote out of my mouth a few hours ago -- "I ate the last piece of pie and now hate myself" -- I'm actually okay with it.

I know that a few factors contributed to the weight gain: the aforementioned nutrition, a few days of not getting enough water (and too much sodium), and missing a day of working out. (I know realistically that one day of missing a workout isn't going to kill me, but...I still wish I would have been able to make it happen.)

I'm trying hard to be optimistic about this week, but there's a lot of lack-of-routine happening: we had a snow day today, and tomorrow and Wednesday are already cancelled due to crazy-low temperatures. And honestly, I will not be super surprised if we don't have school on Thursday either. Time will tell.

I thrive on routine, which is why weekends are kind of hard for me on the nutrition front -- which is also why I really wish I would've chosen any day but Monday to weigh in. :) So, the fact that we have what is effectively a five-day weekend right now is tough.

Today could have been better on the nutrition front (hello, pie), but I'm going to refocus and start anew tomorrow morning. Although, all I want to do during Polar Vortex 2019 is drink wine and eat alllllll the carbs.

Accurate photo of me preparing for hibernation.

Stay tuned, y'all! And stay warm! :)

Phew

Yesterday, I mentioned that my week started off super strong but then tapered off a bit as it continued. I thrive on routine, so while I am a rockstar during the week at school, I tend to fall off the wagon a bit at home on the weekends. Like, I drink so little water, I eat a box of gummy lifesavers (what? I don't even like gummy lifesavers), etc.

So needless to say, I was -- per usual -- a tad worried to step on the scale this morning.

But, per usual, I had no reason to worry. Weight Watchers works, y'all: there's a reason they give you weekly points.

Yep: I am down 2.8 pounds this week. For those keeping track at home, that is a whopping twelve pounds overall, twelve pounds since Thanksgiving.

I am feeling better, I am looking better, and I am stronger. I am pretty darn proud of myself.

Today, I slept in, am going to do a bit of work for school, hit a Pilates class, do some more work for school, get a haircut/color, and meet with our wedding venue representative. For a "day off" of school, it's a pretty jam-packed day. But, after a lot of lounging around yesterday (save for a tough Pilates class and grocery shopping), I'm ready for some productivity.

And then maybe some more binging of The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. Y'all, that show is amazing.

Plus, it has Ricky Martin -- ooh la la.

I hope y'all have a great day!

Seven Days for Every Body

I included this photo in my last post and mentioned that I intended to write more and not simply focus on weight loss. 

And here I am, six days later, and I haven't touched on any of these topics.

Because I have some free time right now (and some motivation to write), I thought I might as well write about all seven.

My 2019 Mantra

Balance

I have gotten pretty good at this over the past year or so -- especially in the last couple of months. But, there is always room to improve, and I want to continue working on balance.

Yes, I need to continue to balance work and home: as a teacher, it is very difficult to leave work at work. There are always lessons to be planned, papers to be graded, etc., but my students also take up a lot of my thoughts; I work in an alternative school, and as a teacher who values authentic relationships and who encourages her students to speak their truths, I often have students unload on me, and it can be very emotionally taxing.

I will say, though, that I have gotten much better at this in the last several years. However, even as I was focusing on balance, I thought to myself that I should really, really be planning my next unit right now. So, I clearly have some work to do.

In addition to work/home, though, I also need to balance some other things: time with my partner, time vegging out in front of mindless TV, time reading, time planning the wedding, time with friends, time writing, etc. Again, this has improved in the last several weeks, especially through the use of my habit tracker, but I know I can still do better.

And, I want to be better about balancing being super-duper healthy (i.e. working out like crazy, eating very healthy, etc.) with being a little more relaxed (i.e. taking a rest day, not freaking out about having a brownie). I am continuing to improve in this area -- and Weight Watchers has certainly helped, especially with the mindset around food -- but yes, there's still room for improvement.

My Go-To ZeroPoint Food

Weight Watchers has a list of more than 200 zero-point foods; these are foods that can be eaten in unlimited amounts. (I mean, these foods still have calories, but they are deemed "zero points" because it's a lot less likely to binge on a bag of chicken breasts than it is to down a bag of chips.)

I have two favorites:

Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to turn orange due to carrot consumption. Jesus's former roommate, actually, used to tease me non-stop about the amount of baby carrots I brought over.

What can I say? I love 'em.

I'm also a huge fan of apples and bananas; they are a constant on my grocery list, and I panic if we're getting low on them. I know that eating all that sugar likely isn't the best, but I usually eat one banana and one apple every day.

My Why

In Weight Watchers, the "why" is essentially your motivation: why did you join Weight Watchers? Why do you want to lose weight?

This certainly deserves a longer post, and I will definitely write it soon. For now, though, I will just say that my "why" is to feel more like myself. Sure, I want to look better, but I also want to continue feeling better. And, of course, I want to look smokin' hot on my wedding day. (But, that is also not my ultimate why. I don't think it's healthy to focus on just appearance or on just one day.)

A Fitness Move/Class I Love

I think y'all already know this one: I love Pilates, and I love lifting. (I would really like to be able to love running again, but I'm not sure that's in the cards for me with my shoddy ankle.)

Speaking of lifting, I had another amazing victory the other day: I leg-pressed 680 pounds for 20 reps. Prior to getting on the machine, my trainer (Tyler) told me that we were going to hit 20 today, and when I saw the weight he added, I was like, "Bwahaha!" He told me to just do as many as I could, and we would adjust accordingly.

Around rep 16, I told Tyler that I didn't think I could do anymore, and he said to keep pushing, that he was right there with me. With a teeny tiny bit of assistance from Tyler, I pushed out the last three reps (and even held the final one for almost the full 15 seconds -- which, let me tell you, is super freaking hard). I think that both Tyler and I were surprised that I was able to do the entire set at that weight.

These big-ass legs are good for something!

I will say, though, that I did a lot of sitting down the rest of the day -- and I was thankful that I forgot my wedges at home and had to wear my Uggs all day instead. My legs during my workout on Friday morning, too, were totally shot; my muscles were pooped.

Fave Weight Watchers Freestyle Recipe

This is another topic about which I would like to write an entire post, similar to what I did for the Whole30 a long time ago on my previous blog.

I have made a lot of amazing recipes, and most of them have come from Skinnytaste -- both online and from her cookbooks, all three of which are incredible.

One of my favorite recipes that I have made from the Weight Watchers website, however, is Creamy Mexican Dip. I made this as part of "taco night" when I hosted book club at my house a couple of weeks ago, and I also plan on bringing it to a potluck at school on Wednesday.

It is sooooooo delicious and does not "taste healthy" at all. I could eat it by the spoonful -- which would actually be better than the 18,000 tortilla chips that I would prefer accompany it.

Compliment Yourself

You know, I am doing really great, and I am really proud of myself. I have been kicking butt -- both in the gym and in the kitchen. I have lost weight, and I have gained incredible strength. And, I'm starting to finally notice that I'm looking a bit different; Jesus and my trainer reassured me that I am, in fact, looking different, which is obviously nice to hear.

The face of someone who is awfully proud of herself.

I'm excited to continue pushing forward, improving both my fitness and my nutrition.

Show Off Your Support Squad

My number one support person is my mama; she's the one who encouraged me to join Weight Watchers, she's the one who's answered every question I could possibly have, she's the first one I call when I'm excited about various things, and she's just the very best mama in the world.

Jesus is also super supportive of me and is my everyday cheerleader. He also eats what I cook and tells me it tastes good, which is always nice. :)

Best Company Ever

I also get a heck of a lot of inspiration from people who don't even know I exist on Instagram. I'll have to accumulate a list to share at some point. Stay tuned.

Well, that's it for now, friends! I'll "see" you tomorrow with our regularly-scheduled "weigh in" post. Hopefully I'll have good news to share (although, the week started out way better nutrition-wise than it ended...eeek).

Peace out!